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What do you want?!”

Something I used to hear as a child but not always asked in a kind and open way.  Not just from my inner circle but the outer circle too. 

It was more like a standard phrase that was used to move me on or away.

This week I have been considering what it really means to ask and say what you really want.

I like the question of “What do you need?” if feels more open and that the person receiving the question has more opportunity to actually consider what they need/feel in that moment? 

Of course when I ask that question to myself and others, I’m talking more from an emotional need. I tend to ask my children this more than than what they want, it seems to get them more present to what it is they need. Rather than get them in there heads!🤓

But asking ourselves “What we want?” is so important as it’s slightly confronting and that’s exactly of what we need. To go a little deeper underneath the surface.

As a young adult I would have seen it in a slightly different light, I don’t think I considered much what my emotional needs were, and if it did come up I would have probably said something very main stream like I need a holiday, I need a break, I’m stressed so I need to have an early night, blamed something, rather than looking at the reasons I was uncomfortable with answering it honestly. A lot of the time I didn’t even know what I wanted because I was making myself too busy to hide it. 😲 If I sat down and really felt into it, it may have looked more like…..

I need support, I’m overwhelmed with my imperfections! I can’t do it all by myself even if it looks like I can. I can’t continue to carry the weight of looking like I have everything handled.

And even when I was a little older and considered what I wanted, in particular if it was long term, I would be met with a lot of interruption from my mind. 

My mind would come in and put road blocks in the way as if I’m not allow to express it verbally or that I don’t deserve it. Another part of the mind will say it’s too much and how could you be so greedy, another part will say you can’t have this but you can have this version that’s similar and it will do……

it’s a very interesting inquiry to be in and to notice how our minds react.🧠

If you have a particular mindset or belief, it will definitely come up to the surface and show itself!

My mother said to me once that I can’t have everything……and it was really hard to hear, but looking back I understand she was coming from her own mindset/beliefs and it really was a choice for me to take on the same beliefs or choose another version.🌻

The wonderful thing is when we decided on our want’s, life actually gets a lot easier……. 

• We say yes and no more, our boundaries are clearer.
• Anything that you have allowed previously that has been draining to your energy in the past has been stopped. You won’t allow it to continue or you remove yourself from the environment.
• Conversations are more authentic, therefore, you don’t invite gossip and drama into your life.
• Things like meditations and body work practices become non negotiable’s so you can stay focused on your intentions. 
• You are more focused on your needs rather than pleasing others, and as a result you feel so much more fulfilled and whole.

When we start to connect with what we really want, under the layers of just surviving and waking up each day to do the thing, we start to experience life differently. We start to notice what our purpose is while we are here, what are my offerings, my gifts is it through your career, relationships, personal growth, or contribution to society. It is unique to us so we don’t have to see it as there might be competition and it may evolve over time as we gain new experiences, knowledge, and perspectives. 

A beautiful result of being honest with ourselves and asking ourselves a direct question……..

What do you want?