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I’ve been doing a deep dive into decision making, how it feels for me when I have big decisions to make when I am aligned and when I’m not and when I’m in a hurry and just need an outcome either way! 

I’ve been considering how I feel when I’m coming up against change, and when I am experiencing change I’ve found it has a knock on effect that feels like resistance and then possibly collapse, maybe overwhelm. How this goes on inside of us and then reflects out.

I was thinking about how I might make a decision but my body is in collapse, internally I’m collapsed, very similar to when we can collapse in a yoga pose mainly due to something happening internally. 

It’s like the decision is taken away from us, something has already been decided, and it’s up to us to listen and take note.

Some decisions are easy and some are ones we need to take a little time over. 

But I was wondering also how we make decisions when we are not ourselves?

Which can be a lot of the time! 

I remember when my children were very young, my decision making was shocking at times, impulsive, and sometimes reckless!

As any careers of babies and small children will know there are a lot of vulnerabilities that this role can expose. Most days I was in fight and flight, I was burning a lot of calories, I was sleeping less and I worried more.

Research shows when we are lacking in nourishment (I don’t just mean food) we don’t make decisions well. 

• Feeling under pressure constantly reduces our cognitive flexibility, as well as finding it difficult to process information, think, reason, and make decisions we are unable to think creatively and generate multiple solutions to a problem.
• Constant pressure can cause impulsive decisions, without fully considering the consequences.
• Increased risk aversion: We become more risk-averse, avoiding decisions that may have potential risks or uncertainties.
• Lacking motivation – making it challenging to make decisions and take action.

And imagine if you were already struggling with boundaries and confidence in your ability to parent/work AND had the added element of working on a relationship with the other parent. 

It’s a recipe for DIS-EASE 

Even if the relationship is great, we always have stuff to work on. 

5 years ago, I would have put my hand up to all of the above.  And sometimes even today.

If we are in D E E P S T R E S S states and unconscious to the signs……

We don’t have the capacity to make informed decisions. And this could go on for years and years and years and years until we wake up or have a forced break.

I feel that this act of making decision goes overlooked and can be very subtle due to the fact we have free will and we can decide for ourselves what we want but if we are coming from a depletion of energy we are not going to feel very powerful decision makers or responsible for our actions.

If we looked at it hard enough, WE know when we are making decisions from fear and lack……….we know.

When we put ourselves under tremendous amounts of pressure and prolonged stress, lack of sleep, community and supportive friendships, job satisfaction etc etc, we loose our minds! 

But not in a good way.

Making decisions based on value (nothing to do with money) what’s my number one focus, rather than fear means we are coming from a place that is centred, grounded, thoughtful and present. 

Life is happening for you, not to you. (Tony Robbins) We don’t feel like we are a victim of our circumstance.

How could we feel more nourished in demanding times?

• Slow down, if you are parenting, children don’t want you to rush anywhere, they just want you to be present with them, match their energy of getting present.
• Pause before you jump into anything, be in no rush
• 5 Minutes a day (if you are time poor), morning is best, but when you can, getting quiet, spending time with your thoughts, feelings.
• Give yourself an Unreasonable request: I made a promise to myself to get up early to meditate so that I didn’t miss it out. For you if might be finishing work earlier or creating a boundary around bedtimes, or when you eat sit down, stop eating on the go, having a go to yoga practice.
• Take a nap if you can
• Relax when everyone else is (it’s a hard one but get into the habit that it’s also your responsibility to have downtime when the family is too, so they see you take your downtime seriously
• Let yourself be supported – not everyone is comfortable with reaching out for help, it’s certainly a practice I needed to get used to. If this is you try it out, accept it and enjoy deciding what you will do with the time you have.

At this stage in my life I wouldn’t be without meditation. I love bodywork and practicing, but I really value meditation and the space it creates for creativity, for when I need to make space for new beginnings or change, it is the anchor I need in order for me to stay focused, centred and honest when things are a bit rocky and also when things are amazing!

Below is a link to a 20 Minute Theta Healing Meditation, I recommend doing it with headphones. It could be done sitting up or lying down.

Theta Meditation

What happens in Theta State?

Theta meditation is a type of meditation that involves reaching a theta brainwave state, which is a state of deep relaxation.

During theta meditation, your brainwaves slow down to a frequency between 4-8 Hz, which is the same state experienced during the early stages of sleep or deep meditation.