Do you ever desire change and when you make the change there’s still something missing?
You change your job or living situation and a year later, that feeling of desire for change comes up again, so you make another change, it could be a relationship or a new country this time and the same thing happens and you end up in a never-ending loop of change without the kind of satisfaction you are seeking.
Some of that change can be easily explained away as situational and part of our journey through life, but a lot of the time it is down to not being able to pinpoint the actual thing that is creating the desire for change in the first place.
I have in the past thought the change I made was needed, but in the end, it didn’t quite hit the mark.
Leaving me wondering if it wasn’t change I needed, what was it? Was it that I was trying to “fix” something? Something I couldn’t name or articulate but I could feel it.
If I look back at parts of my life where I have had or pushed for change, some big moments and some subtle ones, I can pinpoint the moments where I was looking for change so that it could fix rather than enhance so that I could try to answer the underlying question running through my mind…. is this it, what’s my purpose here?
From experience, I made a lot of changes to my external world and physical world way before I ever considered making any changes to my internal world, before I started practising yoga, I never considered implementing meditation or bodywork practices if I was struggling in any way to move my life forward or make informed decisions.
It took me a long time to believe and trust that my inner world was more important than looking good and being physically attractive. And that my worth was not quantified by wealth or status.
It was not until I started practising yoga more frequently that I noticed the desire for change turned into a relationship I was more aligned with, new opportunities came along organically, I was so much happier in my body, I felt stronger physically and mentally I had so much more clarity. I felt part of a community for the first time ever and was introduced to the “fluctuations of the mind” through yoga.
Things I’ve noticed in the midlife space that can influence a desire for change:
- The children are more independent and I have more time to consider my options of going back to work or starting something new
- A career in middle management, where do I go from here
- Diagnosis
- Burnout
- Job Loss/Redundancy
- Health Assessment
- Does my life have a purpose
- Do I want to continue carrying this pain, physical or mental
- Relationship satisfaction (all areas)
- Divorce/Separation
- How’s my money situation
- What is my future looking like, will I be happy as it is currently
- Changing career
- Responsibility of elderly parents
- Grief
And for women, it can be a time of deep internal transformation. Hormonal and physical change. This can be a huge catalyst and reason to look at how life is in our world.
From a yoga framework, you could use practices like meditation and asana to flush out what you notice as the underlining reasons for your questioning change. Sit and pay attention, allowing time for your intuitive thinking to come through rather than being overwhelmed by an analytical approach.
This can also slow down a quick response, quick fix approach.
Some of the questions can be so difficult to hear and answer, especially if they are attached to shame, sadness or embarrassment, but if we pay attention, change doesn’t always have to be turning our life upside down or living in shame.
What to consider when we desire change.
- Where you are coming from – what are your motivations
- Not everyone is going to change with you…….they don’t have to either.
- Your relationships will change, some for the better
- Looking at past decisions might feel hard in the beginning
- Change takes time, be in no hurry
- Change has a ripple effect, not only you will benefit but those around you will too
- Being scared of change is normal but way more rewarding
- Just because you make changes to be more conscious doesn’t mean you can’t have fun anymore
- Be patient
Cost on the body if we block change that we know is needed
- Chronic Stress
- Burnout, anxiety, or depression
- Headaches, muscle tension
- Weakened Immune system
- Insomnia
- Low Self-Esteem – Feeling Stuck
Outcomes when we explore change
- Discover purpose
- Feel more aligned and connected to the world around you
- More present in your life
- Living more intuitively.
- Upgrade your creativity
- Connection to passions
- Developing new relationships
- Trusting in yourself
Discovering yoga was a way for me to take a deep dive into the world of transformation and look at life from a bigger lens, it was a chance to answer some big questions I had about my own existence, it was a chance to feel less alone in my struggles and it was chance to see I didn’t need to find something that would “fix” things. It doesn’t have to be yoga that leads you down this path it can be whatever is inspiring you towards answering some deeper questions that might be lingering.


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