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I happened to overhear a conversation the other day where the subject of “having a tough year” came up and it got me thinking about that as a statement and how easily it can become very “fixed” in our minds as our experiences and I questioned how we can respond differently to the inevitable highs and lows of life with a more adaptable perspective, especially during the more extreme phases in our lifetime. And alongside this inquiry what are we being taught in those times of challenge, are we listening to life?

In this blog, we’ll explore the idea that even in the most difficult of times, there are valuable lessons to be learned. By shifting our perspective and embracing these lessons, we can find strength, growth, and resilience amidst the challenges.

How can we shift our perspective?

Over the last four years, I’ve observed numerous individuals navigating similar challenges in diverse ways. As a collective, we shared common experiences stemming from a global situation that thrust us into the unfamiliar, resulting in separation from loved ones and communities, as well as grief stemming from job losses and the loss of friends and family. However, this emotional turmoil served as a profound wake-up call for some. For these individuals, it was an opportunity to introspect and utilise the time to seek assistance and support, enabling them to effect substantial change in their lives. Conversely, for others, this period posed a formidable struggle, marked by their resistance to change.

What was the difference between the 2 categories of people?

Individuals who took the opportunity to engage in self-reflection found it significantly easier to maintain a sense of equilibrium amidst the prevailing turbulence. They still grappled with feelings of being overwhelmed and fearful, but by incorporating practices such as yoga, and meditation, and joining support groups to express their emotions and thoughts, they managed to shift their focus from their mental turmoil to being more present in the moment. These practices effectively realigned their fears, judgments, and hyper-vigilance, ultimately leading to a more grounded perspective on the overall situation.

They were also able to see all that they were grateful for under challenging circumstances and what they were able to learn in each moment.

It wasn’t as simple as forcing your change of view, which would have suppressed emotions, it was creating enough emotional space to let the emotions be processed through compassion rather than blaming or shaming and then using self-awareness practices to notice what could be the lessons I am being shown here.

This is why having a supportive community to be there for you when you are working through this is so profound when you are seeking transformation.

One of the other approaches I saw during these challenging times has been those who tended to blame external circumstances, other people, or bad luck for their difficulties without taking responsibility for their actions or seeking proactive solutions to overcome their challenges. 

They may adopt a passive, helpless attitude, making it seem as though they have no control over their situation and that the world is conspiring against them.

This tends to be the extreme of the above but if we are honest most of the time if we are not conscious or present we tend to resist challenging times and resist the discomfort we feel when we are not ready to see something about ourselves or our situation that will expose an area or learning for us. We tend to push against it and use as much of our energy to hide from it, make it wrong or completely ignore it.

This can end up being more energy-draining than if we took some time to feel our feelings and process our emotions resulting in an overall more positive experience.

What advantages can be gained from being present to both our challenges and the accompanying emotions that arise in such situations?

• Increased Self-Awareness: Being present with your emotions allows you to better understand your thoughts and feelings. This self-awareness can help you identify the sources of your stress or challenges and gain insight into your reactions.
• Emotional Regulation: Acknowledging and processing your emotions can help you regulate them more effectively. This means you can manage your emotional responses to stressors and avoid impulsive reactions. Something we may not have learnt as children.
• Improved Decision-Making: When you’re in tune with your emotions, you can make more rational and balanced decisions. Emotional clarity allows you to weigh the pros and cons of different choices, rather than making hasty decisions driven by intense emotions.
• Enhanced Coping Skills: Facing challenging times can be emotionally draining, but being present with your emotions can help you develop better-coping strategies. It allows you to engage in self-care and seek support when needed.
• Stress Reduction: Ignoring or suppressing your emotions can lead to increased stress and anxiety. When you acknowledge your feelings and process them, you can reduce the overall stress burden.
• Better Relationships: When you’re present with your emotions, you can also better understand the emotions of others. This can lead to improved communication and empathy, which are essential for healthy relationships.
• Personal Growth: Challenging times often present opportunities for personal growth and learning. Being present with your emotions allows you to learn from difficult experiences and develop resilience. 
• Physical Health Benefits: Chronic stress has such a negative effects on our physical health. By being present with your emotions and effectively managing stress, you can reduce the risk of stress-related health issues.
• Enhanced Creativity: Emotions play a significant role in creativity. Being present in your emotional layers can help you tap into your creativity and problem-solving abilities during challenging times.
• Emotional Healing: Allowing yourself to experience and process your emotions can be a form of emotional healing. It can help you move through grief, trauma, or difficult experiences and eventually find closure and acceptance.

In conclusion, when we confront challenges and choose to resist, ignore, or place blame without acknowledging the valuable lessons embedded within our behaviors and the deeper emotional layers of our inner selves, we inadvertently forego opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. Within the intricate tapestry of our emotional home, lie untapped resources for healing and self-improvement, both physically and mentally.

It is essential for us to recognise that a fixed perspective of our challenges, particularly if they persistently recur, may signal the need for transformative changes in our lives. These changes might seem uncomfortable or daunting, but they are often essential steps on the path to personal growth and a more harmonious and fulfilling life. Embracing these challenges, exploring our emotions, and learning from them can lead to a profound journey of self-improvement and a more enriched existence.